Safeguarding The Traditions: Reflections on the Church of England and Disney

Therefore we must pay greater attention to what 

we have heard, so that we do not drift away from it.

For if the message declared through the angels was valid, 

and every transgression or disobedience received a just penalty,

how can we escape if we neglect so great a salvation?

It was declared at first through the Lord,

and it was attested to us by those who heard him... - Hebrews 2:1-3

The letter to the Hebrews speaks to the tradition of the Church about the grace and mercy of the Lord in his sacrifice upon the Cross.  Also, the Church holds very dearly to the Tradition of the Church as safeguarded by the magisterium, headed by the Holy Father, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  

Traditions and rituals that are mocked by the critics of the Church exploit the modern notion that things that are old are also obsolete.  However, it is this poor man’s first hand experience that the grace of God is the oldest ‘thing’ in existence and, yet, for us Christians, it remains the most relevant truth in existence.  

On CNN I found two news stories today.  The first was that the Church of England has changed their doctrine to allow the ordination of female bishops.  The second was the arrest of several employees of Disney for various crimes against children.  While these do not deal with the Catholic Church directly, they are no less significant.  

The Church in England, by allowing the ordination of female bishops, has separated itself from what Catholic tradition has held since the inception of the Church:  Holy Orders, as instituted by Jesus to give grace, is reserved for males.  This gender distinction is neither oppressive of women or is it a violation of the dignity of women.  The Church has a fundamental and inherent responsibility to protect and safeguard the dignity of women and the sacred nature of femininity.

The nature of gender identity according to the Church is perfectly complementary.  Neither is superior or subordinate to the other.  But rather, the masculine and feminine work in perfect harmony for the glory of God.  The role of the feminine is theological receptivity.  This is most clearly identified in the Blessed Mother.  In her ‘yes‘ to the Lord, she demonstrates for us perfect reception.  The Church is also identified as our mother because the Church exists in the reception of God’s grace.  A priest friend of mine once said that “receptivity is not passivity.”  He went on to describe using the metaphor of catching a football.  To receive a pass requires actively using the hands whereas passively receiving a pass may result in being hit in the head.  

The role of the masculine is theologically initiative.  Jesus initiates creation, the Church, and all things.  This is particularly masculine and the priesthood must be masculine because of its role and nature.  The Catholic Church does not ordain women because of oppression or lack of equality but, rather, it could be a theological insult to the dignity of women and the nature of feminism.  The Church of England has voted to disagree doctrinally and theologically with the Catholic Church.  However, the Church remains committed to unity and community with all people of Good will.

The unfortunate revelation of the recent arrests made of Disney employees for crimes against children highlights the continuing struggle to protect children.  I feel compelled to note that the media is not condemning Disney but notes that the seniors at Disney are constantly seeking to protect children.  The media does seem to promote the equality of Catholic priests with pedophiles.  The protection of children is a social justice issue that the Church has been dealing with for some time.  The Dallas Charter of 2002 laid foundations for the Church in America on how to move forward with the scandal.  But the article pointed out that Disney is constantly working to improve how they safeguard children because Disney will always attract predators.  It seems logical that the same sociological theory applies to the Church.  The Church is going to attract predators we gather children in our churches.  

The Dallas Charter is a beginning.  The Church must continue to review and assess how it protects children.  The truth is that the Church must always be proactive in its efforts to protect children.  The Church has a pastoral responsibility to care for souls.  God does not ask us to differentiate between sins and sinners but rather to love our neighbors as ourselves.  

The news speaks to me about the love and mercy of God.  My emotions want me to be angry with the Church of England for how it has chosen to interpret tradition and theology.  They want me to rage against the former Disney employees who have committed or conspired to commit heinous crimes against children.  But I must be led away from my emotions because they change with the wind.  And the truth of God is that which never changes.  We are loved.  We are forgiven and free.  We have been offered salvation by Jesus’ embrace of the just penalty which rightfully belonged to us.  *(I am staring at this blog entry and am simultaneously contemplating the grace of God, the only way salvation is possible, and considering my great failure to coherently express my contemplations.  It is like trying to define the entire earth by a single grain of sand.)*  May the Lord in his love and mercy draw us closer to him.  May we come to know his truth and grace.  And may God make us fully proper to our personal role and dignity as a person.   

I Love My Church

The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few;
So ask the master of the harvest 
to send out more laborers for his harvest. - Matthew 9:37-38

A few days ago, the Holy Father, Pope Francis met with survivors of priestly abuse.  Each person he met privately with for 30 minutes.  He then begged them all for forgiveness.  Some in the media have quickly condemned the delay of this action and others condemned that he hasn't done anything.

I love my Church.  I think that I may love my Church more than anything on Earth.  I think I only Jesus more than I love my Church.  The Church is the bride of Christ.  I love my Church.

It is very difficult for me to read stories and commentaries that are full of hostility and aggression to the Church.  The Catholic Church encounters so much anger every day.  I think it is quite disheartening to see that there are people who actively persecute Christians, especially Catholics.  The current struggles in Israel, Iraq, Syria, Ethiopia, North Korea, China and many other countries on the issue of religion and religious freedom should constantly remind us that our world is hostile to the name of Jesus.

My Church is my home.  Through all of the trials and trepidations that I have had to encounter as an adult, the Church has been the rock and source of constancy in my life.  I come to know and recognize the frailty of the human condition.  I have come to know the harsh reality that comes with the inconsistency of support of people.  I have, however, come to know the unfailing love of Jesus through the working of the Holy Spirit through the Church in my own life.  This is not to say that I have encountered well intentioned people along the way, but they all form or conform either to the Church or to some sort of secular living.  I have had people in the Church let me down.  I have had people in the Church be everything to me and still continue to be so.  There are people who have never been Catholic, or Christian, and they have let me down.  There are people in my life who are not Christian but have demonstrated a deep care and regard for me that is reminiscent of the Church for me.

The Church is full of people who are sinners and hypocrites.  This man is a sinner and a hypocrite.  It is not in our sinfulness that makes us who we are, but only in the grace of God that gives us hope for an eternity in splendor.  The beauty of forgiveness is that when we participate in forgiving somebody, we ourselves are forgiven.  And God smiles.  At the same time in asking for forgiveness, we take ownership and accountability of the sins we have committed.  Whatever we may have to do to reconcile ourselves to our sin is the temporal reality of our fallen nature.  I've spent a night in jail once, lost my driver's license, lost friendships, hurt people's feelings, and this is all just what I have done in my own life.  I have paid for these sins and I will continue to pay for them here on earth, but in my repentance, I know that Jesus has forgiven me and borne the weight of me.  It is only when I became more aware of what Jesus has done and what he continues to do, do I realize the love I have for my Church.

And the life of the Church was entrusted to our priests.  Some have made some most grievous errors and others live so heroically for Jesus.  And they all bring us the Eucharist, Jesus.  Despite the world, I beg the Lord to send us more priests.  The harvest is plenty and the laborers are few.

A Slave For Jesus Christ

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am meek and humble of heart;
and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”  - Matthew 11:28-30

I really love this passage and image from today's Gospel from the 14th Sunday in Ordinary Time.  Jesus speaks to us metaphorically of his love and mercy.  He wants to give us rest from all that troubles us.  I know many homilies today will talk about sharing the yoke with Jesus.  This is certainly implied in the Gospel today.  

Upon reflecting deeper upon this image and where I was in it from a modified Lectio Divina method, I found myself literally pulling a wagon that is quite full of my sinfulness and shame.  Jesus calls to me and I have to pull myself and all my baggage to him.  Once there, he takes away my labor and burden from the weight of my sinfulness and grants me peace and rest.  When I am rested, I take upon his yoke and become a slave for him.  St Paul introduces himself in some of his letters (Romans, Philippians and Titus) as a 'Servant of Jesus Christ,' 'slave,' or 'bondservant' depending on translation.  Any of these descriptions are incredibly accurate for me.  Jesus tells me that his yoke is easy and his burden is light.  His wagon carries no baggage for me except a cross that promises eternity in his presence in heaven.  This yoke has no sinfulness or shame but bears witness to the joy of the Gospel.  And Jesus says, Come to me...

The love of God is made manifest for us in the sacraments of the Church.  We are called to follow the Lord in holiness and truth.  The strength for this journey comes from the same love of God given to us in the sacraments.  Confession and the Eucharist are our yoke and food for the journey to righteousness.  I absolutely hate going to confession but absolutely love coming out of confession.  I don't exactly celebrate going to Lord because of my sinfulness, but like Paul, if I should boast, I should boast in Jesus Christ.  

Going to confession is an exercise in becoming meek and humble of heart for sure.  Father, forgive me it has not been that long since my last confession and, Jesus, I need to confess and say to you that I am sorry for all that I have done.  And, Jesus, you speak to me the truth I need to hear in that moment, for that time.  But most of all, Lord, you tell me again that you love me and want me to live so that I can spend the rest of my life and eternity with you.  I take your penance and profess my sincerest apology and unworthiness.  You remind me again that in your cross my sins have already been reconciled to the Father and, through the priest in your person, you grant me absolution.  Your love truly is extravagant.  

The mercy of God today calls to us all.  Becoming aware of the yoke upon our shoulders and going to Jesus for relief and rest is the reminder to us all today.  Jesus loves me and Jesus love you.  His yoke really is easy; his burden is certainly light.  

Hear the call of Jesus:  Come to me...

Reflection on Hobby Lobby

For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters;

only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for

self-indulgence, but through love become servants 

to one another.  For the whole law is summed up

in a single commandment, 

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” - Galatians 5:13-14

About a week has passed since the Supreme Court of the United States delivered its ruling in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby.  The Justices decided 5-4 in favor of Hobby Lobby.  From my reading of the majority opinion in this case, three issues were clarified in this matter:  1)  Hobby Lobby’s standing as a person under the law; 2)  the applicability of the First Amendment to the Constitution; and 3)  the government could not compel Hobby Lobby to adhere to the form for the contraceptive mandate prescribed by the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.  

The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act was signed into law by the President on March 23, 2010.  This law is probably the most controversial law I have ever encountered.  No Republican voted for this legislation and 34 House Democrats voted against it.  While it is controversial, I support health care reform.  People should have access to affordable health care.  However, this law is severely flawed.  The law is purely secular.  A purely secular law is, in itself, not a bad law.  The Affordable Care Act has poorly written language and poorly advised mandates.  

My own mother is poor and nearly disabled and still cannot get health insurance.  The exchanges provided by the legislation are not universal in their scope, otherwise, my mother would have had insurance by now.  The elected officials in Washington on both sides of the aisle have their witnesses for their own cases, for and against, the health care law.  To reiterate, I am for health care reform that is comprehensive in its applicability and sensitive to the needs and beliefs of its patrons.  The law is poorly written because the original implementation dates of many pieces of the law have been delayed by executive order, the law has been challenged in court by many entities, and the law itself will be a factor in the midterm 2014 elections.  The special election for a House seat in Florida in early 2014 was seen as a referendum on the Affordable Care Act.   

The Supreme Court decided that Hobby Lobby has personhood under the law.  I have read many commentaries on news articles where readers have posted and ‘liked’ that corporations do not have opinions or beliefs because they are corporations.  These are also the same readers who are vehemently condemning the ruling.  The Court made its decision about Hobby Lobby’s personhood based on several prior rulings but what was interesting was the justices use of the government’s argument against Hobby Lobby.  The government created an exemption for religious organizations in their argument affirmed the personhood and religious freedom of religious organizations but denied the personhood and religious freedom of what they termed non-religious organizations.  The Court essentially upheld that Hobby Lobby had personhood under the law.  Ironically, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, in the dissenting opinion, stated that the Court never ruled that a corporation has beliefs.

After Hobby Lobby’s personhood was upheld, the right to religious freedom was explored.  The justices essentially upheld the First Amendment right to religious freedom and affirmed the application of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act.  The commentaries on articles I have read often blast this court ruling as allowing an employer to force beliefs upon their employees.  The language most used in the commentaries is that Christians are ‘shoving down our throats.’  The more liberal commentators note that the religious Christians are ‘extremists.’  I think it incredibly rich to refer to Christians in these manners when the media makes it a point to ignore the mass persecutions of Christians around the world.  We are just now hearing about Christian persecutions in Iraq and Syria, but these have been taking place for years.  In Nigeria, persecution was largely ignored until real extremists kidnapped young Christian girls.  Christians are heavily persecuted in Indonesia and China.  This case restores the right of the American entrepreneur to start and run a business with protected religious convictions.  The United States was founded largely as a haven for religious freedom which is why the founding fathers codified this protection in the Bill of Rights of the Constitution of the United States.  

The government could not prove that the Department of Health and Human Services had justification to compel Hobby Lobby to adhere to the contraception mandate.  The majority opinion noted that the exemption already provided for religious organizations included means for people who were under the exemption could still acquire contraception rejected by their employers.  The justices also explicitly stated that the government could provide the contraception as well.  

The ruling reminds us all to reflect on our understanding of freedom.  It is essential to continue to affirm the freedom of religion.  It seems that the American landscape is in the midst of a time of constitutional skepticism.  In the past two years I have seen controversies concerning freedom of the press (over revealing sources), freedom of religion (in the Hobby Lobby case and others), freedom of assembly (in the occupy movement), and second amendment gun rights.  It seems to me that as we become more privacy oriented and self-oriented, these constitutional protections are becoming more abstract and protracted to suit political needs.  

The Church has always taught of the sanctity of life from conception to natural death.  In the papal encyclical, Humanae Vitae, by Pope Paul VI and the Catechism of the Catholic Church, promulgated by Pope John Paul II, the Church affirms the procreative and unitive nature of sex which is reserved for the husband and wife with the state of Holy Matrimony.  It is for this reason that use of contraceptives for the intent to undermine the nature of sex is considered sinful.  Pope Paul VI also states, “The Church, on the contrary, does not at all consider illicit the use of those therapeutic means truly necessary to cure diseases of the organism, even if an impediment to procreation, which may be foreseen, should result therefore, provided such impediment is not, for whatever motive, directly willed.”  (HV, 15)  This means that drugs used to treat other ailments but also act in a contraceptive manner are not sinful as long as the intent for use is not contraception.  

A mandate providing for contraception is in direct contradiction of long held Church teaching.  For this reason, Churches were given an exemption from the contraception mandate of the Affordable Care Act.  This is an acknowledgement of the religious standing of the Churches and a nod to their fundamental rights under the First Amendment to the Constitution.  The White House stated in response to the ruling that it would ‘jeopardize the health care for the women who work for Hobby Lobby.’  From the perspective of the Church, whose own rights have been acknowledged and protected, this is a great absurdity.  Because if it were true that lack of contraception is a sincere risk to women’s health, then the government would have compelling reason to ensure that every woman not only has access, but also direct possession.  But the law itself acknowledges that tens of millions of women do not have access to contraception as prescribed by the law.  This is because the law exempts the mandate for companies with less than 50 employees as well as existing health care plans grandfathered by the law.  

The 111th Congress of the United States did their job in passing the legislation for this Act.  The President did his job in signing the Act into law.  The Supreme Court of the United States did its job in upholding the individual mandate as a tax and, especially, in ruling for Hobby Lobby against the contraception mandate in the law.  What I find most difficult from some of the American people is their aggressive rejection of the Court’s ruling.  The Court was not capricious or political in their opinion.  The majority opinion is very methodical and logical in its assessment and judgment.  The rejection of this ruling by the White House administration contributes to undermining of the decision and the authority of the Supreme Court.  

Perhaps most disappointing is either the apparent lack of education among many commentators and news writers or their disregard of the law or the opinion to advance a political agenda.  Both of these actions are divisive and undermine the rule of law in America.  

As Christians, we must rededicate ourselves to our faith.  We must know our faith and we must be able to defend our faith.  We must also know elementary civics and the basic freedoms and rights.  God bless America, the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant

The Lord will rescue me from every evil threat

and will bring me safe to his heavenly Kingdom.

To him be glory forever and ever. Amen. -2 Timothy 4:18

I have not offered a reflection on the readings for the Holy Mass in about 14 weeks.  It has been quite a time on this deployment to step away from what I thought was formulaic reflections.  The past few weeks have been quite a struggle and yet at the same time, I have come to know God’s grace on a deeper and more personal level.  Just last night as we were celebrating Mass on the FOB, I could not help but form a reflection and homily in my mind as I the Mass went on.  

Captive... Imprisoned... Despised... Alone...  These were words that passed through my mind as I reflected upon the readings for this Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul.  In the first reading, we see that suffering for the enjoyment of the masses leads Herod to have James, the brother of John, put to death.  Seeing that the Jews also liked this, he had Peter arrested.  But the Angel of the Lord appears to Peter and leads him out of his captivity.  The scriptures tell us that that there were 16 soldiers watching him and they just walked out in front of them.  

St Paul was imprisoned many times and was familiar with being captive for the sake of the Gospel.  In the second reading, Paul uses a sports analogy.  He states that he had competed well, he finished the race, he had kept the faith.  He also tells us what victory looks like for the faithful.  He speaks of the crown of righteousness for all who long for his coming.  Paul is also quick to point out that his strength came from the Lord and that he had been rescued by the Lord many times.  This points not so much to the faith of Paul but the faithfulness of God.  God remembers his people, his promises, and, luckily for us, his love and mercy for us.

The Gospel recounts for us the Church’s traditional belief that Jesus institutes the Papacy in this reading.  Peter clearly has authority which the scriptures attest to but this is more about the choice Peter makes and the truth he speaks.  Jesus asks the disciples, ‘who do you say that I am?’ and Peter replies that he is the Christ.  Peter is given divine inspiration but it is his choice to take the risk and speak the words the Holy Spirit gave him just as our Blessed Mother had a choice whether or not to bear the Son of God and the Son of Man.  

Jesus asks me and all the people the same question as he asked the disciples.  Who do we say that he is?  I think that Jesus is not just looking for us to speak up.  I think that he asks us that question every time we presented with the opportunity to testify to his love and mercy.  And the mercy of Jesus is made manifest every time we have the opportunity to feed the hungry, the give drink to the thirsty, to clothe the naked, to shelter the homeless, to visit the sick, the free the captive and to bury the dead.  These corporal works of mercy are what Jesus, himself, tells us what we do for him to gain the kingdom of heaven.  Jesus also tells us from the Sermon on the Mount, ‘blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy.’  

Perhaps, Jesus is foreshadowing these instructions for later teachings.  We are told often that Jesus is the just judge and Jesus tells us in the Gospels how he will judge.  The challenge for us is living the universal vocation to holiness which fulfills his instruction for righteousness.  This challenge is very difficult indeed which is why the Jesus gave us the Church and her sacraments.  Confession helps us to take in the mercy and love of God so that we can share it so that we can love others and be merciful.  The Eucharist is the food for our bodies and souls.  It is the sacrifice, the only sacrifice, pleasing to the Father.  And we are given the priesthood to guide us to the Kingdom.  Every sacrament is essential because they are instituted by Christ to give grace and we should make sure that we live the graces given to us.  

The spiritual works of mercy (to instruct the ignorant, to counsel the doubtful, to admonish sinners, to bear wrongs patiently, to forgive offenses willingly, to comfort the afflicted, to pray for the living and the dead) also help us to live the universal call to holiness.  These works invite the faithful to welcome the Lord into their personal lives.  These require us to pray and involve the Lord in our lives.  Combining the corporal works and the spiritual works into our daily lives will draw us closer to the heart of Jesus.  Our hope is in the grace of God for our salvation not our works.  May we genuinely and authentically welcome the grace of God into our lives so that our love and friendship for Jesus will compel us to do good things for our God and our neighbor.

And the Lord will free us from our captivity.  He liberates us from our prisons.  He ends our slavery to sin.  He loves us when we feel despised.  He is forever with us.

And perhaps in the last days, Jesus will say to us ‘well done, good and faithful servant.’  

Why I Want To Be A Father, Part 3

Then he took the bread, said the blessing, 

broke it, and gave it to them, saying, 

“This is my body, which will be given for you; 

do this in memory of me.”

And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, 

“This cup is the new covenant in my blood, 

which will be shed for you.” - Luke 22:19-20

The Council Fathers of the Second Vatican Council affirmed the truth that the Eucharist is the source and summit of our faith.  We believe that Jesus is present body, blood, soul and divinity in the Blessed Sacrament.  Without the priest, there would be no Mass, and by extension, we would not have the Eucharist.  

The tradition of the Church teaches us that the Catholic priesthood began with the Last Supper.  The vocation of the priest is intimately linked to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.  Jesus chose the institution of the Eucharist with the institution of the priesthood.  My own conversion begins with the Eucharist.  

Though I was lonely when I was invited to the Church, the real inspiration for choosing to stay was Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.  When I would go to Mass, I would feel shame in not being able to receive the Sacrament, which I freely admit I did not know that it was truly the body and blood of the Lord.  The pastor at the time counseled me that there was no shame in where I was as a newcomer to the faith.  It was not until the Steubenville of the Rockies where I had my first intimate encounter with Jesus in the Sacrament during adoration.  The best description is that I was overwhelmed by the grace of God and could express myself with tears.  I prided myself on my own strength and looked down upon people who cried as weak.  And in the presence of the Lord, I was humbled to tears.  It was then that I was prompted to seek Confession for my sins.  

My baptism happened in Germany when I was 5 when I had little control over anything.  My first Confession happened because I was called to repentance.  My first Holy Communion happened at a daily Mass.  I was confirmed in the associate pastor’s office.  My sacramental life was extraordinary.  God bestowed upon me amazing graces which I, in my childish and selfishness, abused during most of my life as a practicing Catholic.  This I now know.  

I think it fair to say that I knew of God most of my life, despite only going to Mass a handful of times up to my 18th birthday.  I think it humbling to confess that I didn’t really know God until recently.  To the beginning of this, my third, deployment I have to confess that I was still mired in grave sin.  I have lied to myself and others through the veil of piety until I was convicted by the Holy Father’s encyclical, Evangelii Gaudium.  I think it even worse for me that I could speaks words of faith and comfort and not know the source.  I am humbled again to consider that God has used me despite my sins and personal failings.  But my faith is renewed by participating in the Liturgy.  

I was at Mass at my FOB and felt my heart burning during the Eucharistic Prayer.  The following week at Mass, I again felt my heart burning during the Eucharistic Prayer.  That last Mass also had me slightly distracted because of a spider in the tent during Mass.  It didn’t move during the Eucharistic Prayer and barely moved during Mass, even though it should have been stepped on and crushed where it stayed.  I attribute this to the spider being called to worship God.  Of course, I cannot know this for sure, but it made for an interesting Mass.

In the Eucharist, the love and mercy of God and his grace is given freely to us by the saving works of Jesus.  In this Sacrament, I cannot help but receive his grace and love and mercy because I am a sinner in desperate need of his love and mercy and grace.  I feel the source of my love for Jesus and my desire to be a priest comes from the Eucharist.  I want to be a priest.  But what vocation director would accept this poor sinner?

Why I Want To Be A Father, Part 2

“Peace be with you.  As the Father has sent me, 

so I send you.”  When he had said this, 

he breathed on them.  And he said to them:

“Receive the Holy Spirit. 

Those whose sins you forgive, they are forgiven them,

and those whose sins you retain, they are retained.” - John 20:21-23

God’s universal call for man to live holiness makes the priest an indispensable gift to humanity.  It has become my belief that during this time in the world and where the culture of America and the Western world is heading that the need for the love of God and the mercy of Jesus Christ has never been more dire.  

One of the greatest things about being a priest, to me at least, is the dispensing of the Sacraments of Healing.  My experience of confession usually is the same though the litany of sins confessed tend to change from time to time.  I head to confession usually feeling very low and shame-filled.  I stand in line, or walk up to ask for confession, and I think to myself about how much I have failed in my promise to go and sin no more.  I go into confession and I begin to speak.  I am enveloped in the love and mercy of Jesus.  The prayer of absolution renews my spirit and restores my joy.  I leave confession feeling like a completely idealized version of myself.  I thank Jesus and joyfully look forward to doing my penance.  

I’ve only witnessed the dispensing of the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick a handful of times.  One was particularly memorable to me.  We had a younger associate pastor assigned to our parish and he was a very loving and faithful priest.  He was very inspirational and generally was very kind to me.  We began to go to lunch after the parish’s 12:15pm Sunday Mass and would talk until he had to prepare for the 5:00pm Sunday evening Mass.  He also suffered from some long term illnesses as well.  One day, I accompanied him on a visit to the home of an older parishioner who could no longer come to Mass due to his health.  He requested that Father give him the anointing of the sick.  I was not particularly familiar with the rite but still offered to assist in any capacity.  After Father had administered the Sacrament, I remember distinctly the joy on that man’s face despite the obvious pain and suffering he was going through.  

Another story:  I have been very blessed in my life to have a few friends who are outstanding witnesses to the faith.  I know I am unworthy of these friends but I am thankful to God and to them all the same.  One of my friends, let’s call her Mary, because there are times that her smile and joyfulness made me think that she was for me a preview of our Blessed Mother.  I’ve never told her that and I think I should when I get home.  Mary and I met at college through common friends and common courses.  I am an introvert and didn’t really care for her that much at the time, but there was no mistake that she was definitely in love with Jesus and the faith.  Despite my own sinfulness, we became good friends.  Sadly, I’d say any day that she was a better friend to me than I was to her.  I don’t often speak up but I am usually willing to stand up to my friends when “jokes made in jest” at the expense of someone else, usually not present, are made.  I sometimes speak out against gossip too even though I am often guilty of that as well.  One day several years ago, Mary comes to me and is obviously struggling with something.  She confesses to me that she is pregnant and says that what I’ve heard is probably true.  She then tells me that she waited to tell me because she was worried that I would think less of her because of all this.  I looked her in the eye and told her that I don’t listen to hearsay and then with all the joy and tenderness I could muster, I asked her how could I judge how God decides to bring life into the world?  I believe those words were from God and I learned about the mercy of God from her and Jesus.

The priest has the opportunity to remind the faithful of God’s call to holiness.  The priest also has the opportunity to share the love and mercy of Jesus Christ at all times.  The priest has the opportunity to lead people to cross and lead them to Jesus the redeemer.  The people need to know that they have been forgiven their sins by Jesus.  The people need to know that their slavery to sin and addiction can be overcome by God’s love.  Those who walk in darkness can see a great light in Jesus.  

Jesus commanded that we ‘love as he loved us’.  This means always forgiving and leading with mercy and charity.  A couple of times during youth ministry events, we would do reconciliation skits.  Many times, I had been asked to portray the priest.  More than a handful of times, I loved saying the prayer of reconciliation in that setting.  After the skits, I would get asked how I knew that prayer by memory since we never rehearsed the scene more than once or twice.  I would often reply that I went to confession a lot.  The priest says the words of that prayer at the end and I love how they make me feel.  God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of your Son, has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins.  Through the ministry of the Church, may God grant you pardon and peace.  And I absolve you of your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.  These words remind me that I am a child of God.  They remind me that Jesus died for me.  They remind me I am forgiven.  They remind me that I am free.  

I want to be a priest because the priest pro-actively shares the love and mercy of Jesus in the Sacraments of healing.  Despite my own sinfulness, I still want to serve the Church by loving and serving the people of God.  I want to be a priest.  But what vocation’s director is going to accept this unworthy sinner?

St Augustine, pray for me.