Dying With Grace: A Reflection On Hope

When Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him,

she fell at his feet and said to him,

“Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come with her weeping,

he became perturbed and deeply troubled,

and said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Sir, come and see.”

And Jesus wept. 

So the Jews said, “See how he loved him.”-John 11:32-36

I have been putting off this blog entry for some time because I knew it would be a piece that would convict me and call me to deeper holiness in my witness to my faith.  I also knew that it would require me to visit my heart and grieve for my beloved family members who have returned to God from this earthly life.  Death is not a very fond topic for many to discuss.  However, amid sadness and grief, the Christian hope is predicated on the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, through which we come to understand the nature of death. 

The scripture passage for reflection on this topic is from the Gospel of Saint John.  In the passage, Jesus is with his disciples when hears that his dear friend, Lazarus, is sick.  Jesus remains with his disciples.  However, he is asked if he will go to Lazarus, to which Jesus replies that Lazarus is already dead.  A few more days pass and Jesus heads to visit Mary and Martha, they each greet Jesus and they each tell him that if he were there, Lazarus would still be alive.  While the story is ultimately about how Jesus brings Lazarus back to life, I would like to focus on how Jesus grieves for his friend and then reflect on the Church’s teaching for death and life. 

The culture in America tends to hold an oxymoronic view of death.  Americans tend to view death with a near perfect taboo type of status which defies the universality of death for every American.  Also, the culture encourages people to resist grief by calling it “being strong” while at the same embracing that every does need to grieve “in their own way.” 

The shortest verse in scripture is “Jesus wept.”  This statement is the most perfect imprimatur (imprimatur is the acceptance or guarantee that something is of a good standard) from Jesus that we can grieve for loved ones when they die.  The scriptures tell us Jesus experienced a profound sadness in this moment of grief for his friend.  The Church teaches us that the imitation of Christ is the goal of every Christian.  It is proper to grieve and express our sadness when we lose a loved one.  So if sadness comes, be sad.  If grief brings emotions, express them.  But there is a caution.

Anger is an appropriate response to evil.  But death is not, itself, evil.  Death came as a response to sin.  As death is the natural enemy of life, death is our enemy too.  Jesus came so that we might have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10).  So desiring life is a good thing.  Wanting to live is a good thing.  The unnecessary ending of life is a bad thing.  Disease is a bad thing. 

Being Catholic has many meanings.  One of the great things about Catholicism is veneration of the Saints (which cannot be any more different than worship).  This blog entry is not about apologetics on saints but I need to make a point.  Asking for a saint’s intercession recognizes three distinct realities for the faithful:  1) people will die; 2) there is life after death; and 3) we share in this hope for life and believe in life everlasting.  The Church teaches that “Heaven is the ultimate end and fulfillment of the deepest human longings, the state of supreme, definitive happiness” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1024). 

The Church also teaches that there are two judgments for man.  The first is the “particular” judgment which occurs at death.  This is essentially the judgment that determines heaven, hell and purgatory.  Saint John of the Cross tells us that “at the evening of life, we shall be judged on our love” (Dichos de Luz y Amor 64).  This hearkens to the Gospel of Saint John where Jesus tells us “Love as I have loved you” (John 15:12).  It is also worthy to note that we are not “saved” by any of our own actions or faith.  Salvation rests solely with the mercy of God. 

The “Final Judgment” is the second judgment where the whole people of God experience the resurrection and experience the coming of the kingdom of God.  This final judgement gives man the hope of the coming of the Lord and fullness of eternity.  We all will experience the judgement of God.  As Jesus has laid it out criteria for salvation (Matthew 25: 31-46), I know I have failed and deserve to be laid with the goats for eternal punishment.  But there is hope.

I need the prayers of the faithful.  I need the guidance of the saints.  I cannot save myself.  I trust and hope in the love and mercy of God.  Because of my hope, when my beloveds pass from this earth into the Father’s care, I grieve with the hope of the resurrection and pray for the mercy of God.  When I die, if there are any who find me beloved, may they hope in the resurrection and pray for God’s infinite mercy on this sinner’s soul.