That is why a man leaves his father and mother
and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body. - Genesis 2:24
I spent three blog entries reflecting on why I want to be a priest. And there is truth in that statement. I do want to be a priest. But the love of God and fullness of life has given me an attraction to the natural state of marriage. I call it the natural state because man and woman are complementary beings who in the married state fulfill the divine purpose of gender and sexuality. But this is what discernment is all about. It is about opening my heart and facing my sinfulness and inviting Jesus into my life to amend it so that I can accept the life he asks of me.
The first appeal of the married state is loving the woman God may be calling me to marry. After many heartbreaking relationships where I know I have caused pain through my mistakes and selfishness, I am slowly coming to realize that love is not some academic construct nor is an item to be idolized but rather, love in the married state really is a vocation. It is a life-long calling that demands sacrifice and work. I often bailed on relationships when the work and sacrifice required exceeded anything I was comfortable with. My great sin in relationships is the idolatry of comfort.
Idolatry of comfort is essentially where I place myself in a position where I am at ease to the point where I will forcefully defend the position I have to the point where I will abandon relationships and scuttle friendships. This idolatry also objectifies intimacy as an means to an end, which too is sinfully selfish desire.
The second great appeal of the married state is children. Having children in the married state is the intimate participation in the life of Church and obedience to the command of God to be fruitful. Also, having children in the married state is an expression of the love of husband and wife made tangible. Having children in the married state is also a life-long calling that demands sacrifice and work. Children give their parents the opportunity and challenge to be faithful witnesses to the Gospel of truth and life in their every day parenting.
The third great appeal of the married state is what I call the "Saturday." The "Saturday" is my daydream of a typical Saturday if I were married. I see it as I would wake up and see my wife and be constantly overwhelmed by love for her. I would rise and prepare the Saturday breakfast for my wife and my children. Saturday morning would be spent working on my wife's task for me for that weekend. Saturday afternoon would be given to the family on whatever the chosen activity is for that day with the purpose to make loving memories as a family. The evening would have a dinner that invites the whole family into pleasant conversation but also hints at the deeper romance of my wife and me. Nothing could beat laying next to my wife as we fall asleep thanking the Lord for his goodness.
In joyful hope, I am thankful already to the Lord for his goodness. God has given me a heart to love (which I fail to do fairly regularly) and mind to seek him in all things. My heart is still very young in understanding prayer and hearing the voice of God. In this realization, I accept that I will have to slow down and really embrace virtuous living, sacrifice regularly my time for others, apologize often in Confession, and humbly accept the guidance of those Jesus gives me to follow.
I have often counseled that the Christian relationship should be an extension of the relationship with Jesus. Like Solomon, it is time for me to end my vanity in clinging to wisdom and knowledge and reach for Jesus and grasp him. It is time to love Jesus and know Jesus. It is time to cease to be content with knowing of Jesus.
Why I want to be a Father? So I can love the mother of my children.
and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body. - Genesis 2:24
I spent three blog entries reflecting on why I want to be a priest. And there is truth in that statement. I do want to be a priest. But the love of God and fullness of life has given me an attraction to the natural state of marriage. I call it the natural state because man and woman are complementary beings who in the married state fulfill the divine purpose of gender and sexuality. But this is what discernment is all about. It is about opening my heart and facing my sinfulness and inviting Jesus into my life to amend it so that I can accept the life he asks of me.
The first appeal of the married state is loving the woman God may be calling me to marry. After many heartbreaking relationships where I know I have caused pain through my mistakes and selfishness, I am slowly coming to realize that love is not some academic construct nor is an item to be idolized but rather, love in the married state really is a vocation. It is a life-long calling that demands sacrifice and work. I often bailed on relationships when the work and sacrifice required exceeded anything I was comfortable with. My great sin in relationships is the idolatry of comfort.
Idolatry of comfort is essentially where I place myself in a position where I am at ease to the point where I will forcefully defend the position I have to the point where I will abandon relationships and scuttle friendships. This idolatry also objectifies intimacy as an means to an end, which too is sinfully selfish desire.
The second great appeal of the married state is children. Having children in the married state is the intimate participation in the life of Church and obedience to the command of God to be fruitful. Also, having children in the married state is an expression of the love of husband and wife made tangible. Having children in the married state is also a life-long calling that demands sacrifice and work. Children give their parents the opportunity and challenge to be faithful witnesses to the Gospel of truth and life in their every day parenting.
The third great appeal of the married state is what I call the "Saturday." The "Saturday" is my daydream of a typical Saturday if I were married. I see it as I would wake up and see my wife and be constantly overwhelmed by love for her. I would rise and prepare the Saturday breakfast for my wife and my children. Saturday morning would be spent working on my wife's task for me for that weekend. Saturday afternoon would be given to the family on whatever the chosen activity is for that day with the purpose to make loving memories as a family. The evening would have a dinner that invites the whole family into pleasant conversation but also hints at the deeper romance of my wife and me. Nothing could beat laying next to my wife as we fall asleep thanking the Lord for his goodness.
In joyful hope, I am thankful already to the Lord for his goodness. God has given me a heart to love (which I fail to do fairly regularly) and mind to seek him in all things. My heart is still very young in understanding prayer and hearing the voice of God. In this realization, I accept that I will have to slow down and really embrace virtuous living, sacrifice regularly my time for others, apologize often in Confession, and humbly accept the guidance of those Jesus gives me to follow.
I have often counseled that the Christian relationship should be an extension of the relationship with Jesus. Like Solomon, it is time for me to end my vanity in clinging to wisdom and knowledge and reach for Jesus and grasp him. It is time to love Jesus and know Jesus. It is time to cease to be content with knowing of Jesus.
Why I want to be a Father? So I can love the mother of my children.
No comments:
Post a Comment