“Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me,
so I send you.” When he had said this,
he breathed on them. And he said to them:
“Receive the Holy Spirit.
Those whose sins you forgive, they are forgiven them,
and those whose sins you retain, they are retained.” - John 20:21-23
God’s universal call for man to live holiness makes the priest an indispensable gift to humanity. It has become my belief that during this time in the world and where the culture of America and the Western world is heading that the need for the love of God and the mercy of Jesus Christ has never been more dire.
One of the greatest things about being a priest, to me at least, is the dispensing of the Sacraments of Healing. My experience of confession usually is the same though the litany of sins confessed tend to change from time to time. I head to confession usually feeling very low and shame-filled. I stand in line, or walk up to ask for confession, and I think to myself about how much I have failed in my promise to go and sin no more. I go into confession and I begin to speak. I am enveloped in the love and mercy of Jesus. The prayer of absolution renews my spirit and restores my joy. I leave confession feeling like a completely idealized version of myself. I thank Jesus and joyfully look forward to doing my penance.
I’ve only witnessed the dispensing of the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick a handful of times. One was particularly memorable to me. We had a younger associate pastor assigned to our parish and he was a very loving and faithful priest. He was very inspirational and generally was very kind to me. We began to go to lunch after the parish’s 12:15pm Sunday Mass and would talk until he had to prepare for the 5:00pm Sunday evening Mass. He also suffered from some long term illnesses as well. One day, I accompanied him on a visit to the home of an older parishioner who could no longer come to Mass due to his health. He requested that Father give him the anointing of the sick. I was not particularly familiar with the rite but still offered to assist in any capacity. After Father had administered the Sacrament, I remember distinctly the joy on that man’s face despite the obvious pain and suffering he was going through.
Another story: I have been very blessed in my life to have a few friends who are outstanding witnesses to the faith. I know I am unworthy of these friends but I am thankful to God and to them all the same. One of my friends, let’s call her Mary, because there are times that her smile and joyfulness made me think that she was for me a preview of our Blessed Mother. I’ve never told her that and I think I should when I get home. Mary and I met at college through common friends and common courses. I am an introvert and didn’t really care for her that much at the time, but there was no mistake that she was definitely in love with Jesus and the faith. Despite my own sinfulness, we became good friends. Sadly, I’d say any day that she was a better friend to me than I was to her. I don’t often speak up but I am usually willing to stand up to my friends when “jokes made in jest” at the expense of someone else, usually not present, are made. I sometimes speak out against gossip too even though I am often guilty of that as well. One day several years ago, Mary comes to me and is obviously struggling with something. She confesses to me that she is pregnant and says that what I’ve heard is probably true. She then tells me that she waited to tell me because she was worried that I would think less of her because of all this. I looked her in the eye and told her that I don’t listen to hearsay and then with all the joy and tenderness I could muster, I asked her how could I judge how God decides to bring life into the world? I believe those words were from God and I learned about the mercy of God from her and Jesus.
The priest has the opportunity to remind the faithful of God’s call to holiness. The priest also has the opportunity to share the love and mercy of Jesus Christ at all times. The priest has the opportunity to lead people to cross and lead them to Jesus the redeemer. The people need to know that they have been forgiven their sins by Jesus. The people need to know that their slavery to sin and addiction can be overcome by God’s love. Those who walk in darkness can see a great light in Jesus.
Jesus commanded that we ‘love as he loved us’. This means always forgiving and leading with mercy and charity. A couple of times during youth ministry events, we would do reconciliation skits. Many times, I had been asked to portray the priest. More than a handful of times, I loved saying the prayer of reconciliation in that setting. After the skits, I would get asked how I knew that prayer by memory since we never rehearsed the scene more than once or twice. I would often reply that I went to confession a lot. The priest says the words of that prayer at the end and I love how they make me feel. God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of your Son, has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the Church, may God grant you pardon and peace. And I absolve you of your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. These words remind me that I am a child of God. They remind me that Jesus died for me. They remind me I am forgiven. They remind me that I am free.
I want to be a priest because the priest pro-actively shares the love and mercy of Jesus in the Sacraments of healing. Despite my own sinfulness, I still want to serve the Church by loving and serving the people of God. I want to be a priest. But what vocation’s director is going to accept this unworthy sinner?
St Augustine, pray for me.
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