Forgiveness and Affirmation

“Peace be with you.

As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”

And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them,

“Receive the Holy Spirit.

Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them,

and whose sins you retain are retained.”  - John 20:21-23

Today I found myself in a particularly frustrating situation.  I visited a job site where some of my soldiers were working.  I usually either observe, help out or just stay out of the way if there are more senior engineers working with my people.  Today, I made a slight suggestion and one of my new sergeants made a very sarcastic remark.  Ordinarily, I would correct such a decorum violation very quickly and decisively.  But today I chose to let it be and let the soldiers work.  As I had other duties to attend to, I left the job site and moved on.  

It took me a while to realize that while my soldiers know me and I know them, they have also been here in the deployed zone for seven months.  I began to understand that not every single transgression needs to be borne out and dealt with as a capital crime.  Jesus came to the disciples and lived his life of mercy and tenderness but also with conviction and discipline when necessary.  

In an effort to be more Christ-like and a more faithful witness to the Catholic faith, I have had to take a significantly closer look at myself and how I conduct business.  At this point in the tour, I have noticed that the soldiers are not needing more correction but rather affirmation that they are doing great work, which they are.  My soldiers are very good at what they do.  I have also found that they are very productive when they work very early in the mornings.  

The scripture passage for this reflection is from the Gospel of St John.  Jesus has risen and is appearing before the disciples for the first time.  They were fearful of the Jews because it appeared that the Jesus movement had been handled in a most brutal way.  

The followers of The Way were hiding.  Jesus appears in their midst and commissions the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  The disciples themselves must have been very weary for the Prophet Zechariah spoke the words of the Lord, Strike the shepherd and the sheep will be scattered.  Jesus echoes these words of the prophet for the disciples and us in the Gospels of St Mark and St Matthew.  The disciples abandoned the Lord.  

Jesus institutes the Sacrament of Reconciliation without bringing up the faults of the disciples.  He breathes on them and they receive the Holy Spirit and he gives them the authority to forgive sins.  In the imitation of Christ I should forgive the trespasses against me as I seek forgiveness for my sins against others.  I often choose to do wrong and thus also need to be reconciled with the Church because in failing to do good, I have not only wounded my Lord but wound my relationship with the Church.  It is even conceivable that in choosing not to serve the Lord but rather serving myself, I take away from the opportunity to fulfill my obligation inherent in my own baptism to Go and make disciples of all nations.  

And so I fervently pray for the grace to be a witness of love and mercy for my soldiers and all people that I encounter every day.  I pray that God would give me a contrite heart that seeks his own heart most deeply.  I offer myself and my sinfulness to the cross of the Lord and pray that he would crucify the desires in my heart and make of me whatever he wishes for me to be.  From this day may I sing and dance and make a joyful noise to the Lord.  May I always be humble and meek in service to my friends.  And may the Lord grant me a peaceful night and a restful death.  Amen.