Today is a Friday in Lent. What does that look like? I cannot remember what a Friday in Lent back home looks like. I am sure it involves not eating meat. I think the reason for that is because I can’t even remember here to not eat meat on a Friday in Lent. Today, I have tried to keep the Lord ever on my mind through out the day and almost forgot to go to Stations of the Cross at a makeshift chapel on the FOB. I am glad that I did go.
I had a conversation with the priest because for about 20 or 25 minutes, we were the only ones in the chapel. I asked him where he was from and tried to learn a little about him. He is from Columbus, OH. I am not even sure how to spell his name. I told him that I think it is most difficult to be a deployed priest. The soldier has his team, squad, platoon and company to rely upon. The soldier has resources and a ready community. The priest is not a soldier. The priest might be part of the military but he is not a soldier. He is the anti-soldier. He is the one who does not carry the rifle or the gun. He carries the cross of Christ. We can make semantical arguments over God’s choice of weapons but the priest is not one who engages in hostilities but supports the people whose choices have led them to a place where we have to depend on their ability to defend them and us.
But I am not here to discuss the role of the soldier but the need for the priest and the needs of the priest. I need the priest. I need the community of faith. And I need the sacraments. It is one thing to academically know the communion of saints and faith of the Church, but it is another thing altogether to have to build the Church within a myopic sphere where control is not so easily wrested. I spent so much time thinking of my own needs for the Church and my needs as a man of faith. It occurred me today that there is a Church here. The priest is a man here too. He is a man of faith and needs our community as well. What is the priest without a people to care for? I have a duty to be front and center at the Mass when it is available here. I am becoming more aware that the priest here also needs the community of faith. He also needs the sacraments. I told him that I think it is most difficult to be a deployed priest.
I am amazed in the clerical nature of routine for chaplains. Our military communities have more turnover and changing of faces than ordinary parochial living. Each person has their way of dealing with the world. In my conversation today, I marveled at how well priests have to either remember people or humbly give the “Hey! You...” God has given me the grace to see people and to talk to people. The priest said hey to me today and started about his business. It was a simple conversation that began with a simple question about him and where he came from. And he opened up. I hope to continue this conversation on Sunday. I want him to know that though I don’t share in the fraternity of presbyteral priesthood, I do share with him the fraternity of living as a military man far from home. I share in the goal of living a holy life and finding God’s will for me. But perhaps God’s will for me in this time is to just be a friend. A Christian friend. Perhaps, God wants me to live the Christ in me.
The challenge of it all is to remember it clearly from when I wake up to when I fall asleep. I can wake up and remember. I know it clearly when I go to sleep. I wish that every time I opened my mouth, that it is Jesus speaking through me. I need to be humble and contrite.
To be anything for God, I have to be something to myself. God makes the something of me. I am the clay for the potter. I am. Let me be forever beholden to the great I AM.
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